The Atlantic’s got another piece on “the hookup culture” and its effects on women: A Plan to Reboot Dating.
The piece consists of unsubstantiated sexist claims of the hookup culture harming women broadly and a recommendation that women withhold sex — Lysistrata-style — until men take them out on dates.
The world as Emily Esfahani Smith sees it:
- Women deep down all really want the same thing: to replace the hookup culture with a dating culture. Do I even need to point out that the idea that women all want the same thing is sexist?
- Men will only date women if dating is required for sex. Men see spending time with women outside the bedroom as a necessary evil to getting in their pants. If given half the chance, all men will head straight for sex. Obligatory Harvard male: “What motivation do men have to ask women out on a date when sex is so widely and easily available?” Sexism against men is still sexism!
- Women outnumber men on college campuses, and some women are slutty. So for every woman who wants to be courted before sex there are several sluts who will “give it up for free.”
So what’s the solution to this “problem?” Smith’s recommendation boils down to: Women should give up casual sex en masse, so they get men to take them on dates.
In other words, withhold sex to coerce a man who doesn’t want to take you out into taking you out.
If we’re going to make generalizations, wouldn’t the safest one be that if a man really just wants sex, it’d be more fun to have sex with him or nothing than to share a dinner he sees as a necessary evil?
It seems closer to reality to say that different people, male and female, want different things at different times.
A bevy of carnal options, where people engage in all kinds of cooperative arrangements to get their needs met, seems like a much better arrangement to me.
Photo by dhammza.