My review of OMGYES, the website trying to close the orgasm gap

So I bought OMGYES and here’s my review of it.

What is OMGYES?

Here’s the intro video:

OMGYES.com intro from FGS on Vimeo.

Basically, OMGYES is aimed at closing the orgasm gap.

According to the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior (NSSHB), the last time they had sexytimes, 91% of men surveyed had an orgasm but only 64% of women did.

The idea is stupid-simple. Ask a bunch of women what feels good to them, find the patterns, then teach other women how to do those moves.

Co-founders Lydia Daniller and Rob Perkins had a research team interview 1,000 women about how they like to be touched and then commissioned Kinsey Institute researcher Dr. Debby Herbenick and Dr. Brian Dodge at Indiana University to conduct a nationally representative survey of another 1,000 women. This qualitative and quantitative research forms the basis of their recommended techniques.

It’s like you’re handed a map when you are born and told there’s treasure somewhere but you have to find it. OMGYES has colored in the paths that most other women have successfully used to find the treasure. Learning where the paths that tend to work are located just seems like such an obvious win.

Why did I buy OMGYES?

It appealed to me for three reasons: The research, the tech, the results. First, I’m generally interested in academic quantitative research on human sexuality. And I also feel that female sexual pleasure is a woefully understudied topic. So I’m happy to support this research endeavor. Second, the teaching method involves interactive videos with haptic feedback. I’m curious to try that out. Third, I’m not very good at masturbating. Or directing my lovers on how to touch me, other than to constantly say “lighter.” I find most of my own touches (and others’ touches too, tbh) kind of terrible!

Not knowing is frustrating and trying new things is frustrating so I have my method that involves pressing myself onto the bed and I rarely deviate from that. I love sex. And I think it’s normal for the thing that gets you off to be mostly mental. But I wish it weren’t so difficult for me and my partners to get me off with our hands and their mouths. I suspect that if I knew what was mostly likely to feel good and wasted less time on stimulation that doesn’t, playing around with my vagina would be more fun and less frustrating.

Thoughts on OMGYES

It’s got a very easy and intuitive checkout process.

The interface is modern and attractive. Although I would have preferred it be more clear where I am supposed to start.

screen-shot-2016-10-23-at-4-04-40-pm

Once you click on a video, there are helpful hints about how to use the page and what is what.

screen-shot-2016-10-23-at-4-07-22-pm

I’m not exactly completely unread about sexuality, so I didn’t expect to learn a ton. For example, I’d heard of the “edging” technique to create stronger orgasms. But I found I learned things that not only did I not know about women’s orgasms, but things I found totally unintuitive, such as the specific fact that edging led to longer, more intense orgasms for 65.5% of women studied. More generally, I had no ideally that there are three main edging techniques, and for most women just one of them does the trick.

The edging instructional video had the woman in the screenshot totally naked, touching her inner labia, and explaining what she’s doing. Which was jarring at first, to be honest. I’ve never seen a woman masturbating outside of porn (well, IRL a few times).

zoey

One thing that’s cool about the videos is the little things that you realize are normal. Like, I find that touching myself the way that I loved one time will do nothing for me the next, which is hella frustrating but also made me feel weird. But hearing Amber talk about sometimes having to find the sensitive spot on her vulva because it moves made me feel normal and like, “We’re in this together!”

The road test

So I took some of what I learned in the “teasing” module and tried it out IRL. That consisted of getting high and watching the Mindy Project, and then pausing when Dr. Jody Kimball-Kinney appeared on screen in a thin white tee. (Don’t judge me.) After teasing myself to orgasm, my lovely partner offered to help me try out some techniques.

It was awesome. It’s not so much that trying the technique is breaking new ground. It isn’t. It’s that I felt confident in directing him to use the technique. I was confident that it would work (2,000 women!) and confident that it was a normal thing to ask for. And, perhaps most importantly, confident to insist that it go on long enough to really work. According to OMGYES, teasing usually doesn’t work until you’ve done it a bunch of times. Truth be told, I wish there had been more teasing before the awesome sex we ended up having. And I felt confident enough to tell my partner that later that night.

This is kind of a breakthrough for me. I often get bored and anxious during the part of foreplay that’s focused on my pleasure, and end up cutting it early and switching to giving a blow job or something else I know my partner likes in order to keep things moving and keep my mind engaged. This is a mistake. It teaches my partners that I don’t want much head/touching/etc. when the truth is that I do want it. In fact I really need it. Just not like that. And it robs us of the opportunity to work together to find out what gets me out of my head and turned on.

Who it’s for

If you also find yourself bored and anxious during foreplay, this is a good investment. It’s really nice to hear other women say, in essence, “Immediate, rough, dry fingerbanging isn’t foreplay.” And, “Going straight for the most sensitive area of my body and pressing hard on it after 2 minutes of kissing not only does not arouse me but actually feels horrible.” And, “Do not think that you are good at sex if you can’t move your tongue and/or mouth in the exact same way for five minutes straight.”

I had a pretty good grip on what didn’t feel good before OMGYES. But I didn’t know what to insist on trying, and what to insist on continuing. Most partners, if they tease me, do it for about 30 seconds before trying to put some part of their body inside mine. That’s not enough, not only for me, but for most women, according to the research. Maybe it shouldn’t, but it really helps me demand more to have other women backing me up, saying that the fact that it’s not working is because you need to do it longer. Which is somewhat counterintuitive.

I’d say, based on my experience, that every single man who has sex with women should buy OMGYES. Like, now. Y’all are not teasing enough, not consistent enough, not any of these things enough. None of you are.

I’d be curious about other women’s thoughts on why they would, or wouldn’t, be open to trying OMGYES. Let me know in the comments.

190 Comments

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  1. Rebecca

    I’m curious how well the haptic feedback on the tutorials are. Did you try those out? Do they work on a typical touch screen?

    The whole site looks like an incredible resource for women. Great review.

  2. Alexandra

    Just subscribed to OMGYes.
    Hope I will learn a lot 😉
    Maybe I will share the access with my man… if I dare 😉

  3. Jessie

    I also recently signed up for OMGYES and I’m quite in love with it! I feel like it really affirmed to me what I had to learn in my own life – that having an orgasm is a learned behaviour and technique! Since males are expected to masturbate younger and more frequently than females, the behaviour is far more accepted for them and they learn what it takes to get themselves off. Female masturbation is still far more taboo, so women 1) don’t do it and 2) don’t talk about it. This means we’re less likely to either expect an orgasm or even know what it’ll take to get us there.
    I think OMGYES’ focus on female sexuality and pleasure made me more confident to tell my partner what I like. It’s the first time I’ve felt truly comfortable giving directions and asking for what I want – and my partner seems thrilled with the results (as am I, obviously). I highly, highly recommend this site to men and women alike!

    • Louise

      I might say that I totally agree with you on the point to share with men. In my personal experience I had the chance to accounter a man for whom to please a woman was the secret. I found out that he has speed a lot of his hobby time to acknowledge himself about the subject for him at first and obviously towards women. He had to search a lot during his prime youth, simply because it wasn’t has open. like any studies well driven and being kind and self-confident. This person had showed me such a beautifully way of kinkiness, openness and depth. Opening an other level of quite pure energy by the simplicity of 2 bodies, who can listen to each other. Well tuned nothing beat that. Yes, acknowledgement for both part is healing and mostly worth it.

      With all the kindness,
      Louise.

  4. Sara

    Do not neglect the fun a solo woman can have under the shower. Place your thumb over the end of the shower tube and direct the flow of water along the edges of your opening (not inside!). With some attention you will find the sweet spots near your clitoris and by focusing on pulling up your vaginal muscles and pushing hard on the balls of your feet, you will discover ecstasy. All by yourself. No waiting, no words, just pure pleasure.

    • V

      Yess! Also! Plus cross my legs and then lean against a counter, it presses in all the right places. Again done this since I was real young and just thought I was a bit of a weirdo.

      • Alana

        Thought I was the only person who did this.. probably from the age of 3?! Mine was on the edge of the couch. Still do it now for a quick release, takes about a minute. Not as intense as one that takes longer though.

  5. Sarah

    Thank you for your review! I will definitely try since my only technique resemble to yours “pressing on the bed” and I never found another girl that did the same! 😀

    • Kelly

      Same!! My husband told me it was weird, so I literally googled it to feel less weird about it.

      Still haven’t gotten the guts to buy the subscription, but I’ve been considering it for some time. It’s amazing how hard it is to get over that conditioning and socialization.

    • Frankie

      Oh my god same! The corner of my bed I should my go to and I’ve always felt like such a weirdo! I’m not alone wooo!

    • Hanna

      I do that too…I put my hands against my vulva and sort of grind against them while lying on my tumny – without actually touching my clitoris. I always wear underwear. Can’t do it naked. I never heard of anyone else doing it like that.

        • Jewel

          Haha. I was thinking of Natalie Portman in Black Swan as I was reading this thread, as it was in that movie that I leaned over and said to husband, “see, told you. She lies on her stomach.”

        • Claire

          Yay! I need to see black swan!! Been doing that since I was like, seven (not knowing why back then. Thought it was a way of massaging my stomach…)

      • I

        Omg I used to do that when I was a kid, before I even knew what masturbation was! I just thought it felt good, I even did it with one of my friends at a sleep over (we were like 11-13 years old) and didn’t realize what it was until the memory came back to me a couple years ago and I was slightly mortified haha.

      • Janice

        for all the women humping out there.. this was the only way for me, until I found out about ‘traumatic masturbatory syndrom’/TMS. Humping makes your clit numb. The pleasure you get from the pressure of humping is then very difficult to simulate by hands or oral. I quit humping for about a month until I was very sexually charged and then slowly started fingering and exploring and this led me to my first orgasm by fingering (!). Hope this will make it easier for my partner to pleasure me. Good luck for all you out there !

        • Rose Patel

          I feel like there’s a chance TMS is a residual effort by Freudian types to police female masturbation.

          Like wouldn’t it be convenient if women finding pleasure on their own terms was ‘dangerous’ and reduced the likelihood of them achieving the ‘mature’ orgasm accomplished through penetrative sex. It’s just that there’s a huge history of stuff like that being proliferated over time, and yes we all have the potential to get off lots of different ways but it’s unlikely that one of those ways would seriously damage the chance of another one working.

          In saying that I’m a big believer in just doing what works and damn the consequences so to each their own.

    • kiko

      To all of you who do this, has this tecnique made it dificult for you to orgasm with your partner or is it just me?, I read that its because of how i masturbate…

    • Ariana

      Haha I love these comments! I learned to masturbate like this as a little girl, but later on kind of disciplined myself on doing it ‘the normal way’ because I felt like I wasn’t doing it the way I was supposed to (at the age of 11… unbelievable when I think about it, that I was already that aware of how I ‘should’ handle my sexuality, when I was still a child).
      So now I’m an adult, I do it both ways and both ways are pleasurable… But the ‘grinding’ thing is still something I’ve almost always kept quiet about…

    • Hanneke

      I watched “Black Swan” (yes, the ballerina film) with my boyfriend. He has had quite his share of women, is open minded and the best lover I’ve had in forever.
      We watched the scene where the main character masturbates under the blanket, laying on her tummy pressing her pelvis to her hand…
      He said is looked weird.
      I explained to him all women masturbate like that.
      He literally had no idea this was common. I told him it was basically the only way I could climax if I did it myself and that the only reason for women to do it laying on their backs with their legs wide open… was to make it look interesting to spectators. Porn… but also “putting up a show” for our partners.
      Sure. It feels nice. And we CAN climax that way… but once there’s no one else there… Most of us will turn over to get the job done.

      Almost every woman does it like that… and the ones that don’t usually get frustrated because they don’t climax… and therefore think there’s something wrong with them.

      Sad really.

      • JD

        Wait, what? I’ve never done this and am extremely in touch with my sexuality. Assuming that Only the women who masturbate like you do have satisfying sexual lives is why products like this need to exist.

      • Daisy ?

        ALL women do not masturbate this way. I haven’t. Ever. I can’t even quite figure out how you all are doing it tbh. Haha

  6. Karo

    I subscribed maybe half a year ago. “Y’all are not teasing enough, not consistent enough, not any of these things enough. None of you are.” sums it up pretty nicely. My man came in when I was on the site, I told him what its about and shared my password. Apparently he has checked out some of the decribed techniques. Although he takes good care of my pleasure during sex (not least because forplay gives me orgasms where the actual intercourse doesn’t, so i have never settled for less 😉 he definitely had new tricks up his sleeve. Nobody can ever know too much about female pleasure, I’d say.

  7. I’m glad you’ve reviewed this! I’ve been thinking about purchasing for a while now, but wasn’t sure what I would get out of it. Great job!

  8. Anna

    I never sign up for, you know, pretty much any sites. But I’m extremely intrigued. I’ve never been good at masturbating myself and there isn’t really a course for that, nor is there an easy answer you can get from you friends. I hope I’ll be able to just explore at my own pace and finally feel like I know my body!

  9. Taylor

    I got OMGYES because I suck at masturbating and I cannot for the life of me orgasm. I have come closer with partners but i haven’t had a partner long enough to figure it out. I wish there was a bit more focus and feedback from women who were unable to orgasm for a long time and then figured it out. But it is interested to see and hear about what feels good to other women to then compare it to myself and realize that I appear to be ”normal” in some ways. This review was actually super great because it seems like the author’s problem is being too in her head which is definitely my problem. Would be nice to hear about women’s techniques to get out of their heads. Weed is the only thing that kind of works but it doesn’t get me there while masturbating.

    • Alison Scott

      I hope you get OMG and learn to have orgasms. It’s incredibly empowering to give yourself an orgasm that will rock your socks. Good luck

    • Heddy

      Clitoral stim PLUS penetration was what helped me… but it takes a while. I read that women with smaller clits have a harder time coming. Knowing my partner is enjoying the time it takes to get me there is key. I start to visualize abstract patterns, pretty much involuntarily….

      • Leeloo

        Totally the same for me. I’ve always seen abstract patterns and they’re so different among them. I can even say that’s one of the things I enjoy the most, the visual part. I’ve never heard of someone else with these visualizations 🙂

    • Charlotte

      I’ve had the same problem. Until I was 18 years old, I had never had an orgasm and I thought that I was unable to have one. Then, after a lot of practice, my then boyfriend and I figured out what worked. We broke up almost three years ago though, and nobody else has ever been able to give me an orgasm again. Including myself. I do have a small clitoris, so that might be part of the issue, but I think for me the real problem is getting out of my head, like you. I think I need to be with someone I love, who loves me, to be able to completely relax and clear my head. Like Heddy said, I also need to know that my partner is enjoying trying to get me there, or I’ll worry that he’ll want to stop soon the entire time. I also need clitoral stimulation and penetration at the same time to even get close. Another issue is that I put a lot of pressure on myself to orgasm, whether I’m masturbating or with a partner, so whenever I get close, I feel like I “HAVE to orgasm RIGHT NOW”, so I tense up and it goes away. Anyway, this is why I’m on the fence about purchasing OMGYES. I feel like all of the information about female orgasms is about how to have better, longer or more frequent orgasms, but what about women who never have an orgasm at all?

      • cathyreisenwitz

        I totally get how “Here’s how to orgasm” advice feels like more pressure to perform. I think OMGYes is good in that it teaches you things that are likely to feel good. And they feel good whether you orgasm or not.

    • Anon

      I clicked on this randomly from facebook, and am fighting back tears to hear the description the author had of her own cluttered minds pace during foreplay, and many of the other women in the comments who, like me, are bad at masturbating and some of whom (like me) have never had an orgasm.

      • Anon

        I had the same problem. Buy yourself a nice smooth vibrator, put in on your clit – you will orgasm within a minute. Then buy OMG and learn all the empowering things to ask from a partner – but first, just get yourself that first incredible immediate orgasm. You will never forget it! 🙂

    • Christina

      I feel the exact same way Taylor. I’m almost 30 and still have never had an orgasm (and certainly not for lack of trying). I’m starting to think I’m incapable of orgasming…maybe I’ll try this too before I completely write it off though.

        • Kat

          So I’m not the only one…. I’m 32, never had an orgasm. Tried almost everything, alone and with partner, in a loving relationship and with a hot affair, nothing ever happened..
          Same as Christina: maybe I’ll try omgyes before writing it off for good… 🙁

        • Ame

          It’s kind of like chasing an incredibly slippery fish around in a shallow pond, Molly. Sometimes it’s easy to grab, sometimes not – even for those women who have them regularly. But it’s definitely possible, even for you. Maybe the headspace of having completely given up and not even giving a s**t could even work for you… you just never know.

        • Liz

          I didn’t have one until I was 41. And that was after 14 years of with the same guy. I had one on my own, finally. I still can’t have one with a partner because I am.stuck in my head, and I still need a vibrator and porn,but I can have one! Every body can, sometimes it does take some work.

        • Emily

          Took me until 25 and a LOT of angst, shame, and anxiety along the way. KEEP FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT! And don’t be afraid to spend money on an awesome vibrator and watch porn and stick with it even when you think you’re getting nowhere. The first orgasm is a like a roadmap–now you know where you have to go to get there.

      • Anon

        I wasn’t able to orgasm until a friend bought me a vibrator as a present.
        It took some experimentation with that to realise that I can and do orgasm with this type of stimulation. The next thing is to work backwards from that, using OMGYES to learn how to do it without any assistance.
        I’m still working on it, but getting closer and closer.

    • Shannon

      I’ve always been fairly sexual, but didn’t have my first orgasm until I was 23. Happened completely on accident when I was playing around with a vibrating object (not a vibrator). I had it angled in my panties so that it was held firmly against me, more in the area of my urethra I think. I then curled my legs up to my chest like the fetal position and it hit me before I knew what was happening. For awhile I was unable to replicate it. Due to the meds I was on, I could only get physically horny a couple times a month. Then I started having orgasms in my sleep. I too, have a small clit. You can’t even see it if you pull back the hood. Like described in the article my “spot” would move each time, though a couple years later I pretty well know how to rub my clit to get the job done. Penetration did nothing for me initially but dull the experience. I had to watch very specific porn or read erotic fics to get me to the stage of orgasm, and I still do. In the beginning I found it helpful to imagine my vagina expanding, or tenting. If my clit gets too wet and slippery, I feel nothing. Now, I am able to penetrate with my vibrating object (a nicely shaped electric razor) while rubbing my clit. It’s all about build up. I first get myself going with a video/story and rubbing, edge myself however I long I feel like, position the razor in my panties so it’s at my entrance and slips in the more aroused I get, edge some more, but I don’t turn on the vibrations and start moving it until right before I’m ready to orgasm. The most intense I’ve ever felt it. I can only feel my inner g-spot right before orgasm too. Sorry if that was all a bit much, but for the longest time I thought I was broken too. I still am unable to anywhere close to climax with a guy, but to be fair I haven’t met one to keep around yet (since being able to climax).

      • Elis

        Thanks for this. Not too much, I feel like there will be plenty of women that need to read stuff like this, myself included. I have had an orgasm once, and haven’t been able to replicate it since. I’ve been practising getting out of my head and into my body more over the last few months. It helps me to get the pressure of trying to orgasm, but just enjoying the fact that I’m now at least enjoying touching myself. I’m 27 and I’ll get there. And then there’ll be plenty of time to enjoy all of it once I get the hang of it 😉 This mindset helps me to take the pressure off myself. Pressure on yourself = bad for enjoying/orgasm 😛

      • Kim

        Reading what you wrote makes me feel less crazy, thank you for sharing that. I’ve been feeling so inadequate all this time and frustrated at the lack of outcomes during sex with men, baby steps I guess.

      • What medication were you on? I also don’t get “in the mood” as often anymore after switching to Effexor. It takes longer for me to get turned on, too, which makes me feel bad:(

    • Erica

      You need to clear your mind of everything. Kind of like meditating… I can’t have the TV on or even music. I want to be able to focus on sex or masterbating. I also go to my favorite fantasies and play them out in my head. My eyes stay closed most of the time (it seems to help me focus on just enjoying the pleasure). I think the concept of this website is great and could be helpful for a lot of women

    • LeeLu

      For me, being inside my head is what gets me to orgasm. If I had to rely on stimulation alone, I’d rarely get there!

      While rubbing against the bed, or using my fingers on my clit, I think about what turns me on (it varies with my mood—sometimes it’s a rape fantasy, sometimes it’s a guy masturbating, sometimes it’s two people mutually enjoying each other). To climax, I often think the words ‘yes!’ over and over, or ‘I love you’, or ‘you like that, bitch?’ depending on my mood and fantasy.

      If you can’t get out of your head, the best thing you can do is direct your thoughts to help you get where you really want to go!

    • r

      Omg, weed is the best! Always get a mind blowing orgasm when I’m high.
      Either masturbating – literally, mind blown – or from penetration alone.
      Although I guess you can never really say ‘alone’ because sex is a whole experience with hands and bodies and noises and breath in your ear and all that but I meant with no direct clit stimulation.

    • M

      Ok I could never do it too for a really long time but here’s a couple of pieces of advice! My first breakthrough was buying a rampant rabbit vibrator! If you’re not comfortable going into a store you can get them online in discreet packaging. Then, I rarely ever used the actual dick part to penetrate myself and instead just used the vibrating “ears” on my clit. You have to be careful as they can be too intense but with practise I found what worked for me and then it worked every single time!!! I did however then feel I had to wean myself off this a bit to learn to do it without the aid of the rabbit, and it’s been sort of hit n miss. I persevered and found with time I could do it with my fingers but the intensity was never as good. However, then I tried out using lube and now that’s all I do – lube and your fingers and I can get the same intensity using just my fingers around my clit. It’s annoying to have to always use some sort of aid but they really do work for me, and might be worthy a try if you’re always in your head. Even just to break free of the negative thoughts of “I can’t orgasm”

  10. Loreena

    Great review! My husband got this site for me and at first I got defensive. But I got over that pretty quick when I saw the articles about it. It’s been awesome for our marriage – we try one new section of the site together every weekend instead of a netflix night and it’s been wonderful for us. My one complaint is it’s SO MUCH content that they drop on you all at once without a guide of how to go through it. I definitely recommend it to all my friends but just wish there were some kind of ‘start here’ section or something.

  11. Toyfee

    Whenever I see research on female sexuality I want to know whether the women studied were using hormonal birth control. Sex was okay when I was using it for 10+ years, orgasms consistent but (as I know now) nothing special, but I had almost zero libido – could totally take it or leave it. Had no desire to masturbate. Now in my 40s with no hormones, all done with pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, etc. sex is A-may-zing. Awesome orgasms nearly every time (and pretty good ones the rest of the time), don’t even need foreplay most of the time, and masturbation is fun, quick and easy. I would try OMGYES if I wanted to crack the mystery of oral sex which has never done it for me, but since I think my hubby is happy about that, I don’t think I’ll bother. Happy for the women this helps though!

    • Mike

      Let me get this right. You would deny yourself even more sexual fulfillment because your hubby doesn’t like to give head? This is how you guys end up here in the first place. There is nothing wrong with making your gratification a priority and any guy who doesn’t support that is the wrong guy for you. My advice to him is get over it bud. He needs to realize the better time you have in bed, the better time he’ll have in bed. Everybody wins.

      • Shannon

        Oral doesn’t do anything for me either, and I would never ask my partner to do it for me. I don’t blame her husband for not liking it. I know I couldn’t do it. It’s taken me awhile to even get used to precum without swallowing back vomit. A vulva full of bodily juices? Just can’t. And I couldn’t ask someone to do what I would be unwilling to do myself. Why try to make someone do something they don’t want to do? They possibly wouldn’t have the motivation to go the extra mile needed. I personally don’t like giving head, and even hearing/feeling how much the guy likes it doesn’t stop my jaw from hurting and just wanting to move on to other things. I make up for it in other ways anyway.

  12. mirjam heijn

    “Y’all are not teasing enough, not consistent enough, not any of these things enough. None of you are.”

    You could only know that if you slept with all of us.

    I’m sure material such as this can be good training wheels for new lovers, or those who are inexperienced. Just remember that lovemaking is an art and that everything in art can start to bore after a while. Continuing communication, creativity and courage are essential for having an ever improving love life.

  13. Megan

    I’m in my 40s and never had an orgasm. I also loved the idea of helping pay for more research. And I’ve finally fallen in love with a fabulous guy who I can talk to about anything. I guess I’m a late bloomer! Lol! So I bought this, and we looked at a bunch of them together. It was great! We haven’t had a chance to try them all out yet, but I’m starting to try some out on my own, which I never really did before, so it is already making a huge difference. I always felt like I was doing it “wrong” even on my own. I shared the website on my Facebook page, and a guy friend at work told me yesterday that he and his wife got it, even though this isn’t necessarily an issue for them. But they both liked the idea of contributing to more research, and said they had a great time trying out new techniques. This site is amazing, for so many reasons.

  14. Rosie

    I only heard about this site recently and am very tempted. I’m in my early 30s and have never had a male partner and only experimented with one woman. I find it difficult to orgasm as i lose concentration and as mentioned before, what works one time doesn’t later on. I really would like to know how i work better. I go through phases of having a very active sex drive and then none at all.

    Nice to here that the shower head and pressing on the bed have worked for other people too. I hadn’t heard about anyone else doing those before.

    • Shiara

      It’s good for learning about what works for you, and doesn’t matter if you’re learning solo or for/with a partner.

      It helps to normalise female genitalia (no airbrushing here!), and make you feel more comfortable about touching yourself “down there”. There is a good cross-section of ladies with different body types, different sexual orientations, varying ages, etc., all sharing – in detail – what turns them on and what gives them a great, big O. And then they SHOW how they do it. They also have some advice on avoiding things that can kill the build-up.

      If you want to learn how to give head, guide a partner, or just make your solo sexy fun times even more intense, it’s worth checking out.

  15. Sarah

    I feel like i masturbate in a really weird way. I put my fingers on either side of my labia and sort of rub it back and forth? My clit is trapped between them and gets rubbed as well. I worry that it damages or desensitizes my clit and thins my labia. I’ve tried occasional penetration with hair brushes and handles and nothing ever felt good. I’d love to feel that rush I’ve heard about from penetration but it just doesn’t happen. Am i weird? Am i damaging myself? This is like the first time I’ve ever asked these questions and I’m 24. I’m worried that I’ll get married and won’t feel anything from my husband.

    • cathyreisenwitz

      You are definitely not damaging yourself or weird. Lots of women don’t particularly care about penetration, especially by inanimate objects! Most women prefer their penetration to involve clit stim at the same time, something you can do during sex using toys, your hands, or the right position. You have nothing to worry about.

    • Erin

      I use the same method! It will not damage anything, and it’s less direct so you definitely don’t have to worry about desensitizing. As long as your husband is willing to find out what feels good to you , and take the time to do it ,I agree with Cathy.

    • Emily

      Check google images for a medical diagram of the clitoris, it’s actually much bigger than people think. Makes so much sense for that style of stimulation!

    • Layla

      It’s perfectly normal, more women prefer to masturbate using their clit than by penetration. I love penetration personally, but I always couple it with clit stimulation. Also, rubbing that way shouldn’t desensitize or damage you at all

    • Rose Patel

      Alot of rumours about female masturbation having a negative effect on penetrative sex, or clitoral stimulation somehow being a less acceptable way to orgasm stems from early theories from when sex theory was based around the idea that women weren’t even their own gender but were more like half formed men who needed penises inside of them to feel whole because there penis was missing. It’s really messed up but the fact is it makes no sense and masturbation is good for women despite all of the urban myths. Its good for your immune system and your circulation and the easier it is to orgasm alone the more likely you are to orgasm with a partner.

      • Olivia

        Totally agree with above. I put off having sex until 20, and spent like 16-20 masturbating and dry humping boyfriends and then from 20 on have always had orgasms during penetrative sex. By the time I had sex, I knew what I liked. Transferring this knowledge effectively to my husband, however, has been challenging. He seems to do something right one time and totally wrong the next. So Imma get this for him!

  16. Caitlin

    This is a great resource. I’ve only just started talking about masturbation with my girlfriends in my mid to late 20s and there needs to be more of that.
    I think this would be a good gift for a younger girls to get to know themselves before they are sharing themselves with others. That way they have confidence, know what they want and what works as well as seeing that it is normal amongst all women.

  17. Mindy

    Wow this is pretty neat. It’s nice to know penetration doesn’t do it for more than just me….I always felt broken and kind of like a loser, and of course guys don’t like it when you say their dick just isn’t doing anything for you LOL

  18. Jessy

    Damn girl, you’re speaking my language. I’ve had partners inadvertently make me feel bad, guilty even, for not getting “there” on penetration alone – they don’t believe me when I said I enjoyed it – so this is a huge relief to read. It’s so normal. Thanks for the review and enjoy your further research 😉 I’ll be checking out the site.

  19. S

    I’ve explored masturbation a lot and can have really good orgasms from it. I can also orgasm from sex when I touch myself as well. I would like to not have to touch myself during sex to orgasm, but its very rare that a partner can make me come from touching me or going down on me. do you think this website would still be worth looking at for me?

    • cathyreisenwitz

      I think it’s worth it if you’re willing to let your partner watch it or are willing to teach your partner what you learn from it.

  20. Anonymous

    This website is AMAZING! I previewed it and showed it to my boyfriend, who naturally became curious and bought it for both of us to explore. Basically, it is the BEST investment we have made toward our sex life, and it personally makes me feel so happy that my partner (and myself!) is more informed and educated about it. When you think about it, you’re paying a small amount to achieve a lifetime of good sex. It’s the best bargain out there!!

  21. Alex

    What’s this “pressing on the bed” technique? I’ve only ever masturbated with my fingers or with a vibrator (clit stim only… penetration doesn’t do a thing). Interested to try something else! 🙂

  22. Sarah

    Never too late to learn to have an orgasm. I enjoyed sex from age 17 on ( I am now in my 50’s) but never had an orgasm even after years of oral and vaginal sex . Reading erotica helped because if my mind is not engaged it starts to wander, and it turns out I need total focus in order to get aroused enough to come. I always felt a little sad and knew I was missing out, and felt wistfully envious when I heard how great other women’s orgasms were. I had always thought orgasm would just “happen” to me one day – still hoped that it would- and didn’t realize that for me, orgasming had to be learned and worked at. Thanks to a partner who gave me some sex toys and a collection of erotic literature (watching porn doesn’t do too much for me except maybe subliminally, as a warm up) I now have orgasms many times per week, usually while masturbating alone ( my partner lives far away so we don’t get to spend much time together, but when we do it’s all the more special) It can take me an hour or so to work up to coming from a cold start. Other times if my mind is engaged or stimulated by some random mood or thought, it can take only 10 or 15 minutes. I ‘m just glad that I now know how to make it happen. I had to be mentally ready and want it to happen ( I had years of being pretty asexual in a stressed out, tired marriage with little motivation to have sex) Sorry to ramble on but mainly these few points: we are all different! You gotta find what works for you, and realize this may change. Be OK with yourself wherever you are. When you are ready to take the plunge you can find your bliss. Toys are awesome, but if the mind is not fully engaged, forget it. Have fun everybody! It’s never too late. Or, as the 104 year old lady said to the interviewer who asked her at what age one stopped enjoying sex, “I don’t know. You’ll have to ask somebody older.”

  23. K

    I fucking love it when women can talk about this shit and not feel judged or get shut down for being ‘too sexual’ – keep sharing your ways and words of wisdom gals!

  24. Elaine Sutherland

    The problem, my dears, is men. They get hard-ons and are raring to go way before we are. A multitude of women’s problems are solved by having sex with other women.
    Try it. You’ll like it.

    • joanne

      Does anyone spontaneously orgasm on trains or buses? or sitting in a chair ? it even happened to me while sitting having breakfast with my son!! it usually occurs when i haven’t had an orgasm for a month or so, like build up of sexual energy; i can feel a throbbing, tingling and all i have to do is squeeze a little and it comes… my girlfriend thinks I’m a total wierdo. Am I?

      • A

        I sometimes have it when I’m sitting in an exam under time pressure. When my legs are crossed and I squeeze a bit it starts to build up and I come.. I always thought I was totally weird as none of my friends had heard about it before. However, the exams went good 😉

        • soph

          Oh my goodness I always thought I was absolutely weird for experiencing this and even googling it left me with nothing! Whenever I’m panicking in an exam because of time pressure it happens to me! Thank you for making me feel less alone!!

        • Maggie

          Wow, never thought I’d read this! I did the same at school. Worked great for relieving the pressure. And yes, the exam results were very good, too. 🙂

  25. joanne

    does anyone spontaneously orgasm on trains or buses? or sitting in a chair ? it even happened to me while sitting having breakfast with my son!! it usually occurs when i haven’t had an orgasm for a month or so, like build up of sexual energy; i can feel a throbbing, tingling and all i have to do is squeeze a little and it comes… my girlfriend thinks I’m a total freak. Am I?

  26. Sorella

    I don’t have spontaneous orgasms — you lucky girl! But I do get dream orgasms when I haven’t had (solo) sex for a while and tension builds up. I spontaneously dream of something that works for me and, voila. My dream orgasms are very polite, too, they always wake me up so I’ll remember it 🙂

  27. Ale

    “Y’all are not teasing enough, not consistent enough, not any of these things enough. None of you are.”
    You said it perfectly.

  28. CJ

    I was considering this site after seeing a few ads and hearing Emma Watson liked it… now I’m sold! Going to buy it today! Awesome review, thanks!!

  29. Have to say I’m very curious…. quite an eye opening review and comments below. Thank you for such an honest test run though- it must be working for 2000 + to be involved and all these other women who.are trying it out can’t be wrong!

  30. Morrell

    I bought OMGyes after seeing a FB ad and reading a couple of reviews. I’m 65, single and not much interested in old dudes (after trying a few). I always sucked at masturbation (the rare times I tried it), but I used to have multiple body-rush orgasms in my 20s and 40s. I’ve only spent a bit of time watching the videos and only tried it out once. I’m already better at avoiding over-sensitizing my clit (a huge problem) and last night I had a sex dream with orgasm from clit stim and then penetration.

    I have extensive vulvar atrophy and a clit that was buried from lichen sclerosus. These techniques prove that LS does not mean the end of sexual pleasure. SO grateful!

  31. Sasha

    It is so liberating to read other girls’ struggles navigating the world of orgasms. It seems though my story is different. I am great at masturbation, I am the pro, I am so good at pleasuring myself that I often wonder why have sex with others. This takes toll on my relationships because I get bored with monotonous sex that is mainly geared at pleasuring my partner (be it a man or a woman (yes, even with women I struggle to enjoy being pleasured)). So I go from partner to partner chasing ever evading pleasure. But then, if you tell the man you are not enjoying – he gets upset, if you fake you get upset at your perceived inadequacy.

    I have not signed up yet, but I definitely will to support the research.

  32. Alyona

    I came across OMGyes via Facebook yesterday. It was one of those rare occasions when something useful actually comes out of half-bored scrolling through the news feed. I am absolutely addicted to this web-site now!

    As a bisexual female who spent most of her life sleeping with men, I am interested in exploring the intricacies of female sexuality now. And I think this is a wonderful way of helping anyone to navigate through it.

    Sadly, when I mentioned this site to some of my male friends, they have laughed it off as a waste of their time. And I think they did so at their own peril. As the author of this article correctly pointed out, anyone who wants to understand their female partner and be a better lover should subscribe to this site.

  33. Kris

    I subscribed to omgyes after watching the first video which showed me how to masterbate without a vibrator. Thank you!! <3

  34. Claire

    I *think* I orgasm during sex and masturbating, not all the time, but reasonably regularly (I too use the rubbing on the bed technique, although I get a pillow or rolled up duvet involved) but have always been a bit crap at it.

    My problem is everyone used to say “when you have an orgasm you’ll just *know*”, it’s supposed to feel amazing right? Well mine just kinda feel, well, nice. The best way I think I can describe it is when people talk about “waves crashing” my waves just kind of roll through. It’s perfectly pleasant, but not amazing! I really want to experience this mind-blowing feeling other people seem to get, and worry that what I think is an orgasm isn’t really at all. I feel like I might have got close to a ‘different’ feeling a couple of times, but can’t seem to tip over the edge (I immediately start thinking ooh is this it?! and the pressure makes it go away, and/or I just get frustrated).

    Anyone else have this problem??? Am hoping trying some new techniques from this site might get me there?? Trouble is, when horny it’s very easy to revert back to the ‘usual’, especially when trying something else doesn’t seem to work for ages! (my masturbation is usually quite quick when I bother!)

    • Jen

      I masturbate in the same way that you describe and I feel that timing is involved which makes it better sometimes and not as powerful, but still pleasant, at other times. It is like hitting a baseball– you can connect with the ball but depending on the angle and momentum it could be a ground ball or a home run. You say “quite quick when I bother” so I think, do it more often, take your time, just hang out with yourself and feel good.

  35. Donna

    It’s so amazing, inspiring, and down-right hot to read all of these comments proving that a) it’s never too late to learn new things about your pleasure b) there is no normal! What a relief. I lost my virginity at 30, and before then I’d had a few sexual partners and lots of solo orgasms, but the shame surrounding my own perceived lack of experience really held me back. I found it really hard to talk about to friends, and even feared disclosing my secret by mistake or being found out! I decided to that I just had to put this shame and fear behind me, and gradually I’ve been learning more about sex as I go… once I started having more sex I got more and more horny on my own and started pleasing myself a LOT more. Recently I’ve even discovered new positions and very intense ways of making myself cum – if you have the place to yourself, vocalising your pleasure is really excellent addition! I am therefore very excited about what this website can teach me, and what I can teach my future partners. I recently had to give very clear instructions to a new lover, which resulted in longest orgasm I’ve ever had! It’s beautiful to read different women’s experience of sexuality from all ages, and so empowering for me who is still a little sad about the sex I feel I missed out on in my twenties. Now I am so excited about my late thirties and forties and on and on. Thank you everyone for sharing your thoughts and techniques, and keep doing the things that you enjoy xx

  36. r

    I started masturbating pretty early (15) and feel like a bit of a freak or nympho or something because my friends all found that kind of thing disgusting and made jokes about it so I could never own up to actually doing it. Which makes me mad because all my male friends were and could all talk openly about it. I started watching porn to get myself there, which I felt (and still feel) ashamed of, though in the same way my male friends were doing it without any shame.
    It did mean I learnt to make myself orgasm in my teens though which was good, though at first I didn’t see what the fuss was about to be honest. I definitely got myself to a climax, but it wasn’t the kind of toe curling, screaming moment that you see in movies. So I was a bit disappointed that’s all it was. However the better I got, the better it felt. It took ages for it to the point where I could be turned on and reliably make myself come, and feel that release from a good orgasm.
    It wasn’t until the past 6 months though with my current partner that I actually started to have orgasms through sex or even being stimulated by someone else. I worried I’d gotten so good at pleasing myself that nobody else would be able to. I don’t know what it is about it, maybe it’s having a more emotional connection (first person I’ve been really in love with) but also feeling safe to be open with him about sex. I ask him anything and he asks me anything, he’s open about his masturbation and I am open about mine and he’s totally into it. With him I feel I can ask for what I want and he’s enthusiastic about helping, asks if positions are doing it for me, etc. I also feel that connection helps us to orgasm at the same time, which helps me come because i get so absorbed in what is happening we kind of feed off eachother. Definitely mindfulness is important, in sex or masturbation, you need to just not think about anything else and be totally lost in how it feels or (in my experience) it’s hard to actually orgasm…
    This is just my experience. Definitely agree it is a learned skill/technique and takes time and concentration

  37. LZ

    Do you guys have any forms or videos helping to counteract hypersexuality and guiding being in the moment while having sex? I survived a very long time of incest and it caused me to be incredibly promiscuous but also it caused my body to be almost electrified when it came to sex. I was having sex either as a conqueror and for validation or for someone to be in the bed beside me. I was almost never present, always dissociated. And the sex itself was always like this weird mission to just get it over with but at the same time to show him how good I was. Most men that I have been with have commented on how incredibly easy it is to get me to orgasm. On my own, I can get myself to climax, and squirt, within 60 seconds using the right vibrator. With a partner I can cum with him just intensely playing with my nipples and I can also have about four G-spot orgasms during one sex session that does not even really last that long. Trust me, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Especially when you are not present or with the guy that you even want to be with. So what I was hoping was that you had some sort of tutorial or coaching on why I could be a sex addict (?) with a trauma background. I want to learn how to be in control of my body and slow my libido down. there is a lot of room between zero and 60. I don’t always want to orgasm two minutes into foreplay. And also, I want to learn how to be in the present when I’m with somebody and be aware of who they are and even more so, take my right back to say no because this is not a chess game. It is an intimate part of my life. I am bisexual if that opens for avenues on the website. I truly believe that being with a woman would help this problem a lot. But I am very scared because although I have dated and fooled around with a lot of women but I have yet to go that far.

    • Mo

      Thank you for sharing so openly. Even though I don’t think I’m qualified to give you any advice, what you just said reminded me of a friend and gave me more perspective on how this may feel to her.

      I related to the bit about not having taken it that far with a woman, especially. I’m in the process of changing that.I also wonder if that will heal a few things for me. Have fun trying it out and exploring, nothing to be scared of – you can speak openly about these things and slowly work your way through it.

      All the best

  38. David

    I got the site some months back, and watched all the videos and read all the articles, then I went onto doing so practise with my beloved, then recently I noticed that there are more techniques available…
    I shared it with her as well and she seemed to like it. Hopefully with time we’ll get the practice each and every technique to find which ones work best.
    Thanks for the review.

  39. Jose

    It’s a site where you see beautiful women showing their vaginas and demonstrating how they like to be touched. Then you get to play with an image of one and hear the woman moaning and say “Yeah! That feeeels goooood.”

    Can someone convince me that this is not a porn site for men?

  40. Layla

    I was 18 when I figured out how to masturbate, despite being very interested and trying before. It was always frustrating, as I’d rub myself over my underwear, get more excited and then…I didn’t know how to take that last step. Then at some point I sent it to hell and used a shower head and blasted my clit (which in retrospect was way too much and kind of painful), and had my first orgasm. Enter several months of daily masturbation until I figure out what I like.
    Nowadays I masturbate on average once a day, either because I’m horny, as stress relief or just because I want to. Keep it up people, don’t give up!

  41. Jacqueline

    I just want to know how to orgasm during intercourse! I can play with myself which is easier then if a partner plays with my clit but some positions it’s not always easy and some guys think it’s weird or don’t understand so I don’t. But I feel like I’m sort of lagging behind men when they don’t get it and think we should come just by penetration alone. I have to teach them and it’s awkward sometimes as if I have a special needs issue. If they are stubborn I just will just end it right there.

    I can get great very long G-spot orgasms doggie style, but usually only after having a cllitoral orgasm.

    The only way I can have a clitoral orgasm with just penetration is to be on top, and with a guy who can last a long time and I’m very close with and I have to be really horny. Or if he’s sitting up like on a couch.

    I’ve had so many people tell me they come during penetration alone, or guys tell me the woman before me never had a problem yet this goes against what the research says so I tend to think they are lying to me or to themselves…not sure.

    So my question is this: I want to know of the women who can have clitoral orgasms through penetration alone, how can I learn? It seems so odd to me, that nature made women bodies to need education and to have to educate men to do something that should be so natural and is so natural for men. Why did nature put our clitoris on the outside I wonder?

  42. Kiki

    I wish I’ve heard of this before. One of the reasons my relationship ended was because of sex. Actually, sex was really good. But foreplay was always frustrating for me because I never knew how to say what feels good. Like she says, I only repeated myself saying “lighter”. In the end I’d always stop my partner because I didn’t want to bother him, because I wasn’t anywhere close to orgasm. I’d give him a blowjob instead and we just proceeded to sex. Not being able to make me cum made him frustrated.

  43. Amanda

    I wasn’t really interested I’m really sensitive to penetration and that’s how I orgasm the most. My partner gives amazing oral and has really figured out what makes me orgasm. But then I kept reading and i realized I hate masterbating it feels like a chore to try to make myself come when my partner feels so much better. Which sucks because I used to love it. I want that same sensation of it being new, exciting and fun again.

    • Jacqueline

      Well you’re one of the lucky ones who can orgasm through penetration alone. Intercourse almost never touches my clitoris unless I’m on top and he doesn’t mind taking a long time and I have to be really in the mood or have lots of foreplay. How do you make it seem so easy or is it that you just prefer G-spot orgasms?

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